A few good men
Wednesday, November 3, 2021 at 07:11PM I find myself yearning, these benighted days, for stories – novels, films, TV shows – depicting good men. I am a voracious reader of novels and watcher of television series, and admirable male characters are thin on the ground.
I know such creatures exist. I suspect every man in the world has an unconscious sense of entitlement, but the vast majority of the males I know well – in my family, friendship circle, community and work place, are thoroughly decent. They are aware of gender issues and appalled by so much male behaviour. They do things like cross the road if they are walking behind a woman on her own. They are keen to do the right thing. They are, mostly, part of the solution.
But I open the newspaper and am bombarded, every darn day, no exceptions, with accounts of men behaving badly, in every field of public and private life, across every socio-economic group.
In the domestic sphere, family violence has been more rife than ever in lockdown. In the public domain, it’s hard to know where to start. We could begin with the most obvious places you might expect male privilege to be exercised in the most damaging and horrific ways – institutions that were traditionally only open to men, like the army. You could predict that. Male sporting clubs also fall into the ‘usual suspects’ category.
There is the world of entertainment where, since the long-overdue comeuppance of Harvey Weinstein, a staggering number of leading men have been exposed as predators.
And then there are the institutions where you would hope honourable attitudes and actions were de rigeur but, tragically, are anything but – the courts, the church, parliament.
Of course the reality of how the evil of misogyny plays out should be portrayed in books and movies. And they are. From the dystopian all-too-believable nightmare of The Handmaid’s Tale to the elegant horror show (if you’re a woman) of Madmen, from the casual and the vicious sexism manifest in The Newsreader to the murderous domestic tyrant of Deadwater Fell, to the fact that most detective shows feature violence against women, male perpetrators of horror are not hard to find when you turn on your television.
But there is another reality, and you attract more flies with honey than with vinegar, as the saying goes. I hunger for fiction writers and film makers who would give our boys and men some realistic and appealing role models in the tales they tell.
The reasons Shetland is one of my favourite ever shows is precisely that the main character, Detective Inspector Jimmy Perez, has such deep integrity, courage, decency and warmth. He treats everyone he encounters with the same respect, is tender with the vulnerable and unflinchingly courageous with the abuser.
I’m exhausted hearing about the carnage the male of the species has wrought upon our world. Another way of subverting the patriarchy is by providing alternative narratives. There are good men out there. Let’s start telling their stories.
This was published in The Melbourne Age on 4 November 2021
Reader Comments (5)
Thanks for acknowledging that there are some good men.
Well said, Clare. Here's hoping you don't cop any flak from those who demonise all men.
Shetland indeed! Jimmy Perez, indeed. If only the stories were not so grim. But I guess that's the point of it: glimmers of humanity amidst the wreckages.
Yes, it is sad to see that the christian story of an alternative masculinity has been largely unsuccessful through history - as far as convincing males about toxic masculinity is concerned. It is sadder still to see the failure of Christianity as a whole to be successful in living an alternative non-violent lifestyle for the last 1700 plus years - since it cosied up with power, violence, and privilege.
IT seems in fiction and non-fiction being appalled is more interesting that being applauded for doing good. I support your call for writers to give us more male characters we can applaud for their humanity and strength than shudder at the expressions of their toxic masculinity.
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