Pre-COVID - prepping for uncertainty
Tuesday, May 26, 2020 at 01:01AM March 2020 will go down in history as the month in which the world as we knew it changed utterly.
Five years ago, I had my own life-changing episode. Easter 2015, my husband of 35 years and I visited a haematologist who confirmed what we feared – that he was suffering from Multiple Myeloma, an incurable blood cancer. The specialist advised us that the disease was likely to ramp up by year’s end, whereupon treatment would begin. After treatment, average survival time was five years. From that day on, I assumed that by the end of 2020, I could be living alone.
Myeloma may be incurable, but it is treatable. My husband has undergone a lot of treatment, some of it pretty brutal (but effective, so I am not complaining.) He has had several other health crises that seemed unconnected to the cancer, but who knows how the combined stresses of illness and treatment impact a human body and cause other disasters.
Five years on, he is in excellent form. He works full time, jogs – albeit more sedately than he used to – has a vast social circle and keeps our family fed, loved and amused. He will be on chemo for the rest of his life, or until it stops working. He could get very sick and die any time. Equally, he could have several more good years.
This fifth anniversary has brought back searing memories. Easter 2015 was a week of the rawest anguish I’ve experienced. Since then, we have had a lot of grief, anxiety, ambulance trips and countless hospital visits; we have also been blessed with joy, laughter and a tsunami of love and support.
Back then, we did what I think so many are doing now, in the light of a pandemic that has rendered all our certainties null and void. I became deeply grateful for the simplest things – waking up to find my bloke still breathing beside me, meals with the kids, the care of friends, holidays, the ocean. I don’t think I will ever take his long companionship for granted. It reminded our family that life is not certain, even in this privileged corner of the world. That relationships are the most important thing and that every day is a gift. We learnt that the only thing we can control is our own behaviour in response to whatever life throws at us. We learnt that death is always lurking. It prepared us well for COVID-19.
Reader Comments (3)
I am so glad that you are able to write a piece like this Clare. So thankful for the five years your bloke has had and the zest for life that he carries with him in whatever he does. I hope for myself that I don't need a serious illness to make me grateful for all the things that you are rejoicing in now. May your own new normal bless you as it unfolds in the weeks and months to come. Auld Lang Syne
Amen!
Thank you Clare - beautiful as usual and so personal. Amen to all you've said!