Spree
Sunday, November 10, 2013 at 04:27AM Shopping for an entire day with a girlfriend is not a thing I’ve ever done before. Frankly, I’ve never wanted to. Somewhere along the line I missed out on the girlie shopping gene; when I have to buy clothes, I shop like the stereotypical straight guy – try and get it over as quickly as possible and feel awkward and embarrassed about the entire experience.
But I have a son getting married in the summer. And part of me would very much like to lash out a little on an outfit for this occasion about which I am so very happy.
It’s something I never did for my own wedding. The silk wedding sari I brought back from India set me back AU$25, as did the sandals I wore. Make up was a quick lick of eyeliner, and I had a brutally short and not particularly flattering haircut. I don’t regret this for one moment, especially these days of the Bridezilla phenomenon and the obscene extravagances of the burgeoning wedding industry. Approaching this new generation family wedding, however, I have found myself wanting to wear something a bit classy.
Enter Sal, my friend from school who is stylish, assertive in shops and has the eye. She just knows what works with anyone’s particular shape and colouring. Even more importantly, she knows what doesn’t. And she is generous enough to agree to an entire day in the city in an attempt to make me look good.
We meet outside Myer at half past nine and we more or less stay there until half past five. (My husband rings, late afternoon, ‘Where are you?’ ‘Myer.’ ‘Still? How long does it take to buy a dress?’) Usually, it takes me about five minutes, and then I get home and feel miserable and guilty because I know it’s not quite right but I bought it because it was cheap and I felt I had to because the sales girl had given me a nice smile.
In the end, I bought the second dress that had caught my eye. But we had to look around first, to play the field, just to make good and sure she was the one. And I learnt it’s not simply a matter of picking the dress. For a start, there are shoes. I expected that, but there are other pieces of outfit involved in this business – who knew? I now have a clutch (I previously thought that was a pedal on a manual car), a wrap (I thought that was a nice alternative to a sandwich for lunch if you can ever get the tricky cling wrap off) and earrings.
I learnt a lot of other things along the way, one of which is that a day of shopping is every bit as physically exhausting as a hard day's work on a hospital ward, and way more wearing than a ten k walk.
I learnt that you don’t have to buy something simply because the sales assistant is nice to you. You can ask them to put something aside for the rest of the day till you come back again, or not. That’s what they do. I learnt that when you go to shops that are more upmarket than Target and K-Mart, you actually get willing and knowledgeable assistance. I learnt that part of the trick to this is not slinking around, trying not to be seen, but walking in as though you have a right to be there, and when asked if you want help, saying yes, my son is getting married late summer and I think this is the kind of cut and colour that suits me, but I’m open to suggestions. I never actually said this myself, you understand, but I will next time because I’ve been listening to Sal.
I learnt that, contrary to my expectations, women’s clothes shops aren’t full of jaded and haughty super-model look alikes snootily looking down their perfect noses at me. In fact, most women in fitting rooms look pretty much like me, imperfect and weary and hopeful and a bit washed out.
I learnt that there is camaraderie among shopping women that is far from competitive. Sal and I had a dozen delightful interactions with sales people and customers. We compared notes with several other mothers-of-grooms. Every sales assistant we dealt with took endless trouble and didn’t curse me roundly when I left without buying a thing.
Best of all was the elderly Greek lady who was also buying a frock for her son’s wedding. She was about five foot tall, and built like a tank, with a capacious, magnificent bosom. When Sal and I saw her, she was standing, proud and shy in a dress that was all silvery lace bodice, diamante belt and silky black skirt. She looked perfect – so right, so just herself. ‘You have to buy that!’ I told her, and her daughters agreed, although she was cagey about admitting any such thing. In the end, she bought it, and we were as pleased as she was. An interaction that reminded me that it’s not a matter of being perfect – the trick is to pick what suits you.
I learnt things that I knew but had forgotten in the throes of menopause and going up a dress size and growing curves that make me feel I’m no longer me – that feeling and looking good is more in your head than anywhere else; that an endless range of shapes and sizes can look great.
So, now I have a delicious outfit. I’m as excited as a little girl with a new party dress. I keep sneaking a look at my frock, stroking it, wishing I could wear it straight away.
What’s more, I loved every minute. I came home and did a catwalk for the several members of the family who happened to be there. ‘Wow, girlfriend, you got accessorised!’ said my youngest, Fiona. I did indeed. What’s more, I met the nicest people, spent time with one of my dearest friends and had a ball.
Reader Comments (3)
This has to be the most delicate comment I've had to write since the underwear blog Clare. I hope this day can be grafted onto your genes (not jeans). The beautiful person we all know you are seems to have emerged clothed like a butterfly after this one day's transformation with a sensitive midwife in Sal. I hope the change you've so modestly but beautifully described is a permanent one. And I hope I'm not misunderstood on this one.
I laughed tenderly at this one, & shared it on my Facebook page with the words:
uplifting writing from my friend Clare - funny, sweet & satisfying
... and so it is.
Clare, just beautiful, and I can so hear Fi say that to you! Please, show us a photo at some time, would love to see the dress that will no doubt enhance your amazingly beautiful personality.